Weekly Journal: #20 Expanding Hidden Thresholds

While we tend to work while being sick, and push through to complete projects, it’s like the first thirty seconds after you’ve pushed yourself past an exercise goal. I’ll use a rowing machine as an example. After rowing for x amount of time, you get tired, and when the goal is y amount of time, after crossing that threshold it’s like a moment of clarity. You just gave all that you thought you could. There is a minor deception within that feeling, however.

You’ve expanded your thresholds just that much further, being able to push yourself just a little bit harder, but there’s also a rest period as well if you’ve pushed yourself especially hard to get back to that normal level.

Monday started out recklessly busy.

I finally was able to get a minute to sit down after a few hours of barrages of requests with a concept I’ll omit here but one I’ve been thinking of writing at length for years. The week slowed down as it progressed, but ended with me overexerting myself in the name of the project to get a tough job done.

I had to call out sick after that.

I don’t normally like to do that unless I have to, because for some weird reason in the 2010s corporate America there’s a huge stigma against taking care of yourself in favor of the corporation. Since this is a professional portfolio, that’s probably not the best thing to write without further elaboration, so what I mean by that is that we’re all hired in to work. That’s the given. If the work can be done with fewer people, great, however there shouldn’t be so little redundancy that the company falters because of the needs of one individual. That’s a structural failure and something I can casually comment on here but the only advice I have on the matter is obvious: hire more people or have the tough conversation to request more resources.

The good news through all of that is that I’m finally – finally – feeling back to normal. Closer to 100% on the lifebar, to use a videogame analogy. It’s been close to two and a half weeks of feeling fatigued at best and blowing through tissue boxes at average. My sense of patience through the sometimes arduous writing process, where what can be read in seconds can take minutes here or hours elsewhere, has returned, so that’s nice.

I’ll comment on my big plans for the week tomorrow because in this instance I’d rather wait until after I execute my plans before I write to avoid losing any steam. For now, I’ll just leave on a note about how I’d always stayed in when it snowed, regardless of how insignificant it was. Snow was always a good excuse to stay in. On the last contract, I drove for the first time through any degree of snow for a decisive day at work, and today is the same.

Not really decisive, just a little important.


Author: Zombiepaper (Anthony)

My big goal is to write. My important goal is to write "The Story." My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame a fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. Let's strive to be better everyday. (Avatar)

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